Funny stuff our kids say. Part 1

At practice:
Jaden, "Momma, when you said I was doing a really good job tossing balls, that made me nervous (embarrassed).  This is my nervous face."

In the car:
Jaden,"Daddy, can we get an animal so I don't have to pretend to be the animal and can take care of the animal instead."

Tough Mudder 2011

A few months ago, some of the Schmidt siblings embarked on an epic journey. Mike, Scott, Rich, Mary and Tim signed up to participate in Tough Mudder Wisconsin, July 23, 2011. That day has come and gone and after months of planning, some (not enough) training, and a lot of family support, I present to you my account of one of the most challenging events I have ever undertaken.

July 23, 2011 Tough Mudder Day

I woke up at 4:15 am unable to continue sleeping. It was going to be a rough day... or should I say a Tough day. I had been trying to calm my nerves and get a few more hours of shut-eye, but I just couldn't fall back asleep. To pass the time, I watched an episode of "So You Think You can Dance" on the TiVo and just tried to veg out until we had to leave for the farm. Sandy must have noticed my excitement (or maybe my apprehension) on the day and joined me in the living room. We snuggled and relaxed before what would prove to be a demanding, nearly impossible day. It was a nice way to start.

Everything we needed had been expertly packed by Sandy the night before. We were ready to put kids in the car at 6:20 and head to the farm. Once we got there, it was a matter of linking up the carpool and beginning the 2.5 hour drive down to Devil's Head Resort. We met up with Scott, Charissa, Mary, and Timmy at about 6:30 and left for Tough Mudder. Our GPS said we'd arrive at 9:15 which was 2 hours before our start time, just like the coordinators requested. I guess that made sense since there would be upwards of 10,000 people convening at this one location.

The car ride down was somewhat uneventful for us. Sandy and I exchanged our hopes on the day, discussed a game plan for our arrival, and just enjoyed the time we had together in the car with the kids. Every once in a while, my adrenal glands would release just a little adrenaline and I'd get a rush in anticipation of what the day would hold.

In the other car, we wondered how Charissa was faring with Scott, Mary and Timmy who could get to be somewhat 'loose in the tongue' when brought together. It is just that way when you get a bunch of Schmidt's together for a road trip. (Ask Sandy about the trip to KC when we were engaged... she'll tell you all about it!) I'm sure they had an interesting road trip.

When we got to Merrimac, we stopped at Subway for some food to fuel our bodies.

I knew we were about 4 miles away from the resort and this would be a good place to stop for a bite. The day became 'real' for me when I looked up over the hill toward the resort and I saw plumes of black smoke rising above the trees. I knew then that this would be like nothing I had ever done. In Subway, we saw others who were dressed in their best running clothes... not us. We had chosen to go the way of the costumed Mudder. Only one of us was brave enough to wear his costume on the car ride down. Scott did look good sporting his gear though.

After eating, I called Andy to see how far along he and Tim were. He said that they had gotten to County DL and hit stopped traffic about 3 miles away from the resort. They had been waiting in line for 20 minutes already. This was not good news since we were still 4 miles away and had about 110 minutes before we were supposed to begin running. On top of this, we learned that Rich and Grace were still 40 minutes away. As we began moving out toward the resort, we caught up to what Andy was talking about. There were cars ahead as far as the eye could see.

The next hour was spent dressing in the car, trying to stay calm, and debating on when we

should start running to the race's start line. Slowly, ever so slowly, we'd creep forward and then stop. Creep and stop. Slowly we moved forward and slowly time ticked off the clock. As we got closer and closer the preparation of the previous days caught up to some of us and we had to stop for a quick break. After re-leaving ourselves, we finally moved closer to the entrance, only to be stopped again in one way traffic. We were about four cars away from the lot when the cars ahead of us were being chased to the next lot! As we were zipping past, a man jumped out of the bushes and started waving us in. Someone had opened up their own personal lot behind their home and we were in.

We had 20 minutes to get to registration, get set up and get to the starting line. Quickly, we unpacked the car, set up the stroller, loaded everything we though Sandy would need to entertain the kids for 4-5 hours, and headed down the road toward registration. Rich was still not with us and Andy and Tim were waiting for us at the starting area. As we were walking toward registration, we learned that Rich was hurrying toward us so we decided to wait for Rich. About 10 seconds later, he was standing there right behind us. Wow, that was fast.

Registration went smoothly. We got our packets, race numbers, and wrist bands. It was about 11:45. We hoped that we could still get in even though we were 25 minutes late. The start was about 200 yards up the slope so we took a 'before' picture and headed up the hill to something we knew would be difficult.

At the start, we looked for someone to check-in with, but found no one. After listening to a few minutes of the final announcements, we decided that we would join the next group. Final announcements reminded us that we needed to stay on the path, take care of each other, and put your arms overhead in the sign of an 'X' if you were in trouble. After the National Anthem and recitation of the Tough Mudder Pledge, we were ready to start.

The Braveheart Charge was an electrifying rush down the mountain. We ran/rock-hopped down the slope through smoke and fog. It was an exciting way to start our demanding day. Next, we began the Death March which was about a 1 mile jog up a blue ski run. The energy and excitement from the start was beginning to wear off I knew it would be a hard day when I couldn't even make it all the way without walking. The fellow participants had lost their energy and loud voices as it became eerily quiet on the way up. The third challenge was called the Gauntlet, two rows of straw bales stacked 3-4 high.  Good thing we spent so much time jumping and hopping on and over bales when we were kids.  It wasn't too bad, but we were still within the first of 10 miles.

The next activity was the Boa Constrictor which was a culvert submerged in water at one end.  We had to crawl down the culvert into the first of many large mud puddles and then crawl back up a culvert on the other side.  I followed Rich who was able to easily slide down the culvert and then crawl back up the other side.  I, however, am a bit taller than Rich and had to army crawl out.  To be honest, the water was very refreshing at this point.

After a short jog down the hill, we came to the fifth element, Funky Monkey.  This monkey bar on steroids would be difficult for me because didn't do enough upper body work in preparation for the event.  I will say that I made it to the peak, but lost my grip on the way back down and in the splash that ensued, I also lost my shades...

We continued down the hill and through the woods for another mile and then began another climb.  Our second of FOUR climbs up the ski hills!  The climb was pretty tough and I noticed that we passed several black diamond signs on the way.  At the top, we were welcomed with the sixth challenge, The Berlin Walls.  These 12 foot walls required a hop off of a 1" kick board and then a vault up to the top where you struggled to pull yourself over the wall.  Needless to say, I need some help from my brothers and they were willing to oblige.

After clearing both walls, we began a meandering descent down the mountain until we made it to the seventh challenge, Devil's Beard.  This wasn't too bad.  We were able to hold up the cargo netting and work our way under it up about 100 feet to its end.

Unfortunately, the next climb (our third time up the mountain) would be the most challenging.  This climb was nearly vertical and ran beneath a chair lift.  Above us, riders watched as we struggled with each step.  Several times I saw people stop and just sit to catch their breath.  I knew that I would have to keep striding and am proud to say that I made it without taking any breaks.  A few athletes were running up the hill, but even they had to slow to a walk occasionally.

Near the top of this climb we encountered the eighth challenge, CLIF Hanger.  Here we had to climb over something (I forget what it was because my mind was wiped from the climb).

At the top of our summit, we were subjected to the Kiss of Mud.  Here we had to crawl under barbed wire in a soupy mud bath that had rocks and gravel all along the bottom.  My cousin Timmy dived in and was instantly covered in the brown goo.  As I was crawling under the wire, the man next to me sputtered and swore.  He had lost his contact in the mud.  Tough luck, Tough Mudder.  We also saw Timmy's girlfriend, Heidi here.  Our first encounter with spectators we knew!  Hooray!  Once we got through the Kiss of Mud, we saw the first of several ski snow machine hoses that we could use to rinse off.  This is good, because I was covered in mud and wanted nothing more than to wipe off my face, but every time I went to do it, I noticed that my hands were caked in mud.  After the rinse, I looked around and found Scott.  The rest of the group was nowhere to be seen.  We went back to the rinse stations and didn't find anyone so we concluded that they must have headed down the mountain already.  We better hurry to catch up. 

At the bottom again, we were introduced to the Turd's Nest.  This activity was a cargo net strung out between two platforms.  It wasn't too difficult, but I learned quickly that the VFF's had a weakness to stepping on anything with edges or angles.  It was a bit of a pain on the feet, but I made it to the top, across, and back down without incident.

After that, we began up the mountain for our final true climb to meet the eleventh challenge, the Log Bog Jog.  These iron posts were placed in differing bundles across a large puddle.  The objective, crawl under, over, or through them.  It was interesting how many people had a hard time with this.  The Schmidt's seemed to have the ability to just hop on over these.  Just like being out in the woods driving deer.

The twelfth activity was the Shake n Bake.  I was a bit confused by this one since it was just a large puddle we had to wade through and then we continued on our run.  This part was one of the longest distances between challenges.  It introduced us to the golf course we would be finishing our final 6 miles on.  If the next miles were anything like the last, it was going to be a tough finish indeed.

Once we had run a ways along the path, we came to the thirteenth challenge, Walk the Plank.  When I got to this platform, I saw several people trying to get up the sparsely placed 2x4 boards to the top of this 15 foot drop off.  At the top was a girl who was cramping up so bad she couldn't move and her team was trying to convince her to not jump because she was in no condition to swim out.  I went ahead and took the plunge.  My feet hit the murky bottom of the pond, but I quickly popped back up and swam to the fourteenth challenge, Underwater Tunnels, which was a series of blue barrels that we needed to swim under.  I guess this challenge wasn't really all that different from what we did all summer growing up on the farm.  We'd go to the pond, jump off of our floating dock platform, and then swim under the barrels beneath the dock to watch the fish swim.  That's probably why this was one of the more enjoyable challenges of the day.

Once we got out, we continued to another mesh netting like the Devil's Beard and then a ways further, we came to the second set of two Berlin's Walls.  On this set, it was obvious that fatigue had set in because Richie tried twice to mount the wall on his own and twice missed the kick board and face planted into the 12 foot wall.  It was very noticeable and everyone around seemed to gasp as he did it. Both times...  We did all eventually get over the walls and continue on our journey to my personal favorite of the course, Greased Lightning.  This was a giant slip-n-slide on the side of a golf course hill.  So basically smooth black tarp with running water on manicured green lawn.  I was stoked.  Scott and Mary went down first and they each took their time gingerly starting on their butts and working their way down.  Once they had a start, Rich and I ran and dived head first in the same chutes they were in.  We caught up to them about half way down and man were we moving.  Rich was singing Ride of the Valkyries on the way down and as he approached Mary, she could hear it getting progressively louder and louder!  It was hilarious to see her scramble to get out of his way.  My momentum carried me about 50 feet past the end of the 100+ foot slide.  If I had any more energy, I would have definitely gone back up for another ride!  Maybe next year...

We continued on to the front portion of the golf course and entered the eighteenth challenge, Fire Walker, which was basically a row of burning bales lining a curving dirt carved path.  The heat was uncomfortable, but not unbearable.  At the end of this burning path, I saw another familiar face.  Charissa was there with her camera capturing our emergence into the known world.  At this point, we had a great reunion with Mom and Dad who had come all the way down after butchering to watch us participate.  They even had water bottles and Mountain Dew for us to drink.  Apparently, they had gotten there at the right time because their truck was parked about 40 feet from the course and they had been watching for us from the air-conditioning of their vehicle.  Luck them.

After a short break, we continued on our way to the nineteenth challenge, Everest.  This half-pipe looked like it would be a definite challenge.  People were lining up 50 feet away to get a strong sprinting start and many were stumbling before they got to the top.  To me it seemed that people were sprinting from too far out and getting tired before they even hit the incline.  I thought that I would save my speed (what little I had left) for the actual pipe.  When I tried this method I actually seemed to shoot right up on top of the platform.  It worked pretty good.  Andy actually almost leapt right over the incline, but he's a firefighter, that's what they are capable of!

The tougher part of Everest was getting down.  The base of the plywood sheeted side was pitted with a trench that was sure to injure ankles.  (Charissa even tried to warn Scott about it, but he was so mentally taxed that he has no recollection about this.)  The goal was to hop off the platform before you hit the bottom.  All of us were successful in walking away, but it was a bit frightening for Mom and Dad.  Apparently, several people had injured themselves before we arrived on the scene and they had watched it happen.

After Everest, we came to the mental dexterity portion of the course, Ball Shrinker.  This was the twentieth challenge and indeed proved to be challenging.  The structure for this multi-balance beam was very shaky and everyone's combined unsteadiness made the whole think shake.  It was tough to get across and only Andy and Tim actually made it.  Timmy was close.  Mary was shaken off by me (accidentally).  She had made it out about 15 feet when I began and the combined movement of the people and me caused her to bail.  I fell off shortly thereafter.  It really was a very challenging portion.

The next thing we did was called Twinkle Toes.  In the beginning of the race, I'm sure the cables we were supposed to walk on were in tact, but by this time, they were non-existent.  We grabbed the top rope and lowered ourselves into the water as we pulled ourselves across.  My arms were burning because of all the upperbody work we had done today (and my lack of preparation).  I was on the same rope as Timmy and Rich.

As we neared the end of the crossing, Timmy posed for a picture and then dropped all of his body weight from the rope.  When he did this, it snapped taut again and out of my hands.  I wasn't ready for the sudden change in tension so I had to swim the rest of the way.  It was somewhat disappointing.

The next event was called Dry Wood.  This twenty-second event found us hauling wood through a body of water in a hairpin shaped curve.  The wood was wet, but still floated, which was good since Mary was too short to touch the bottom.  The neat thing with this march was that there was an actual current from all of the moving Mudders.  When I couldn't touch the bottom, I was carried along by the moving water.  After making our way through the water, we dropped off our wood and headed over to the mystery obstacle which was about a mile away.

The mystery obstacle wasn't really all that bad.  There was a small channel of water which had been scored with a backhoe to create drop-offs.  Most of it was 1-2 feet deep, some areas were 5 feet deep.  Interesting, but somewhat predictable.  The thing I was more worried about was the definite smell of sewage and the extremely high temperature of the water.  It was like going for a swim in the pit at the Ponderosa...well maybe not quite that bad, but you get the idea.

The final mile of the course was fun in that we knew we were almost done. Scott had been cramping up for the last few miles and I was beginning to really feel the combined pain of the dehydration, soreness of the bottoms of my feet, and cramping in my hamstrings, quads, and groin.  No amount of water or bananas was going to fix this now.  I just had to bear down and finish the Tough Mudder.

We came around a corner and found Sandy.  Boy was she a sight for tired, mud-caked eyes.  She had the camera and was flashing pictures of us as we continued to the twenty-fourth challenge, Chernobyl Jacuzzi.  I really had no idea what to expect from this challenge.  I knew it was a dumpster, but I didn't know what it meant to be a carcinogenic bath.  After hopping in, I found out that it was actually a tank that was filled with ice water.  The shock was amazing.  In the center was a board and they were calling out that we had to go UNDER the board.  When my head hit the water, it was all I could do to get under and back up as quickly as possible.  This tank served two purposes.  First it cooled us down after a long hard day of work, secondly, it made us soaking wet for the final challenge, Electroshock Therapy.

As we moved from Chernobyl to Electroshock, I had the opportunity to watch Sandy sprint ahead of us with my camera in her hand.  She was doing her best to get every final moment.  She had actually been waiting here at the finish line for about 2 hours! What a trooper.  As we crested the hill, we found the rest of our families waiting for us under the shade of a large tree.  It was great to see Jaden, Caleb, Mom, Dad, Grace, Gabe, Gloria, and Charissa waiting for us there.

  

At this point, I asked Sandy, "How much further?"  She told me that it was up and over a hill and then through the final challenge, Electroshock Therapy.  I knew this one was going to hurt.  Again, Sandy sprinted ahead to get a good spot for the photo opportunity.  She's a real Tough Mother!  I think I'll sign her up for Tough Mudder next year.  

As we rounded the corner, I could see the terrible tentacles.  I waited for my siblings to arrive and then we each took our turn running through the wires.  I went with the 'protect my face and eyes' method while my cousin Timmy used more of a 'let me open my arms to the possibilities'.  Neither one of us got shocked, so it must have been the paths we chose that kept us safe.  Mary however was not so lucky.  She was cruising through when suddenly she found herself in the mud.  A quick assessment showed that she had been hit with the 10,000 volts of current and had fallen to the ground, mouth clenched. She quickly got up and continued through the course.  Rich also took the voltage twice, while Scott escaped unharmed.  The Electroshock Therapy was finicky.   

When we finished this portion, we picked up our dignity and lined up for the final finish where we received our headband, t-shirt, and one beer.


All in all, the event was great!  I knew it would be a challenge and after 3:53.07, we finished one of the most difficult things I've ever had to complete.  It is such a blessing to be able to enjoy these experiences with my family.  I know we will have more adventures in the future and continue to push ourselves beyond what we think possible.  Thanks Tough Mudder for a great time.  Thanks to the Tough Mothers for their time with the kids.  Thanks to Charissa for being the run-around, call-people, coordinate-location person.  And Thanks to Mom and Dad for being here to see us through another one of those silly things your kids do.  We know we make you proud and we hope to keep doing it for a long time!  TOUGH MUDDER!!

  Rich Schmidt, Andy Skarda, Tim Hopkins, Mary Schmidt, Scott Schmidt, Tim Schmidt, and me.  Team Schmidt Haus der Schlachtung.  Happy Mudders!

More pictures can be found on Facebook and Shutterfly.  Be ready for the repeat in 2012!